How to Feel Grounded and Hop Off the Emotional Crisis Cycle

Image by Danielle Beth/ TevaExpress

Image by Danielle Beth/ TevaExpress

In case you haven't heard, it's a new moon this Saturday.  New moons are a powerful time to set intentions for what you'd like to start attracting into your life over the next month. More specifically, this month's new moon falls in Leo.  

Since Leo is a courageous, confident, and fearless sign, this new moon reminds you to stand in your power, follow your heart, and honor your true-self. This is the quickest and least resistant path to deep fulfillment and joy in your life and in love.  

So you may be thinking, "Yeah that sounds fantastic, Dana.  But what do you really mean by 'stand in your power and follow your heart' ?  How do I actually do that?"  Well, a great place to start is by setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and honoring your values by sticking to what's truly important to you. 

And, how do you know if your actually setting healthy boundaries, communicating effectively, and honoring your values?  It's simple.  

When you're standing in your power, following your heart, and honoring what's important to you, you'll naturally feel a sense of ease, flow, expansion, and connection in your life and relationships.

On the contrary, when your not standing in your power or aligned with your heart, and when your not honoring your boundaries, values, or needs, you'll feel tension, anxiety, contraction, and disconnection in your life and relationships. You'll also notice that you experience a lot of, what I like to call, "Emotional Crises".

(Scroll down to see a quick and powerful practice to banish emotional crisis, or click here to sign-up and receive my top 5 tools to feel grounded and calm right now.)

This is a state where you're ruled by intense emotions like fear, anger, or jealousy, which then send your body into a panicked and reactive mode. Your heart starts pounding; your breathing becomes fast and shallow; your mind races with irrational thoughts and fears.

Being in an emotional crisis state actually blocks you from connecting with your heart and place of power.  Making decisions and taking action from this state is a recipe for disaster.  

If you're constantly doing or saying things you later regret, you're likely making decisions from this state.  You're reacting to ego generated emotions vs. responding from your heart and power center.  Consistently taking action from this space may end up ruining relationships or great opportunities in your life.

If you experience this emotional crisis state frequently, now (under this Leo new moon) is a great time to learn how to manage it, so you can begin to set healthy boundaries, communicate effectively, honor your values, and get rid of that constant tension you feel.  You'll begin to feel free and in control of your life again.

The quicker you learn how to hop off that emotional crises cycle, the sooner you'll begin making good decisions that bring you back in alignment with your heart and place of power. And the sooner you'll have the life and relationship of your dreams.

One of the quickest and easiest ways to move from a state of emotional crisis, to feeling calm, grounded, and in a place of power is through your breath.  

Controlling the breath is a prerequisite to controlling the mind and the body.
— Swami Rama

Both yogis and our western science now prove that by voluntarily slowing and deepening your breath, you can change the messages being sent to your brain and trigger the release of hormones that relax your body. This is huge for those of us that wish we had more control over our emotional state on a moment-to-moment basis!

The exercise below is so simple, yet powerful, in shifting you from an emotional crisis state to a calm, balanced, and relaxed state.

  1. Bring your awareness to your breath. You'll probably notice it's super shallow and quick.
  2. Now consciously DEEPEN and SLOW your breathing. Feel your breath as it enters your nose and pull it down deep into the pit of your belly. You should feel your belly expand as the breath fills it. Like a Buddha belly! You can even place the palm of your hand on it to make sure it’s expanding. Really focus on this conscious, slow, deep breathing for at least a minute or so. Do it until you feel your heart beat slow, and you feel more calm and relaxed.
When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace.
— unknown

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I Ching Full Moon Wisdom

Did you see that moon last night?? It was huge and gorgeous!  Very powerful and potent energies are surrounding today's full, super moon in Capricorn.  As many of you know, one of my favorite spiritual tools is the I Ching.  I love to tap into it's wisdom when the moon energies are most potent during each full and new moon.  So I consulted the I Ching on how to best utilize this full moon’s energies.  And the hexagram it gave us was #27 "Providing Nourishment"

The main theme of “Providing Nourishment” is the importance of proper nourishment of your body, mind, and spirit at this time.  So during this full moon, it's crucial to take a good honest look at where you’re out of balance and aren’t properly nourishing yourself, and fix it.  Remember to look not only at your body, but at your mind and spirit as well.

Nourishment refers to what we feed ourself- the food we eat, the thoughts we think, and the information, facts, and fantasies we entertain. Just as we should take care that what we eat is wholesome, we should have a similar regard to what we allow to enter our minds, for just as food and drink affect us, so do ideas.
— A Guide to the I Ching, Carol K. Anthony

It’s often easy to recognize when you’re not nourishing your body properly.  But it’s a bit more difficult when it comes to recognizing imbalances in mental and spiritual nourishment.  The hexagram warns not to indulge in what it calls “idle fantasizing”.  Be careful not to allow your mind to dwell in negative thought patterns, suspicions, or assumptions about people or situations in your life.  While you may see this habit as harmless, it's actually keeping you from peace, happiness, and achieving what you truly want in life or love. 

If we allow jealousy, envy, self-pity, alienation… suspicion, and distrust to worm their way into our attitude, the effect is detrimental.
— A Guide to the I Ching, Carol K. Anthony

All these elements are ego generated, and will only arouse fear, doubt, and emotional turbulence in you.  And, even though they’re fantasy thoughts and emotions, not grounded in reality, they will start affecting your actions.  And, if not noticed and dispelled of quickly, these false thoughts and “idle fantasies” will slowly poison you and your chances of achieving the life, love, and success you desire.

As far as spiritual nourishment goes, the I Ching says that the most important way of obtaining nourishment for the spirit is through the practice of meditation.

It counsels you to practice daily “self-renewal” and “self-cleansing”.  Which means creating space daily “to clean out all thoughts and allow mental activity to subside”.  Tranquility is restorative and nourishing.  This can be done through a simple daily 10 minute sitting (see below for a simple meditation).

Creating inner space allows the light…to enter us with its restorative effect… giving rise to creative ideas, correct perceptions…and correct solutions to problems. Being recharged, we radiate peace to others.
— A Guide to the I Ching, Carol K. Anthony

So in summary:

  • The best way to utilize this full moon's energy is to focus on “Providing Nourishment” to yourself.   Not only must you nourish your body through proper food, drink, and movement, but more importantly this time calls for proper nourishment of the mind and spirit.
  • You can best nourish your mind by recognizing and dispelling of any “fantasy” generated assumptions, or obsessive thought patterns you have towards yourself, others, or a situation.  Try this journaling exercise to help. Ask yourself these questions, and write down whatever comes up.  Don't overthink it.  Just write freely.

~What thought patterns do I have that are rooted in fantasy and not reality? 

~Where have I been making assumptions about myself, others, or a situation that may actually not be true? 

~If I released all assumptions and negative thought patterns (not grounded in reality) what would open up and become possible in my life?

  • You can best nourish your spirit through daily self-renewal and self-cleansing of all thoughts and mental activity.  The best way to achieve this is through daily meditation.  Just a simple 10 minute daily practice can do wonders.  If you don’t already have a practice, try this simple one.

~Set a timer for 10 minutes.

~Sit comfortably with your spine straight.

~Take a few deep, slow breaths.  For a minute or so, imagine all thoughts and energetic baggage from the day flowing out with your exhale.  You are now an empty container free of any burdens from the day. 

~Now, just breathe normally and keep your attention on each full inhale and exhale.  If you start thinking (which you inevitably will, because that’s what the mind is designed to do) just gently notice the thought, and then bring your attention back to your breath.  Continue this until your timer goes off.  

~Try this practice daily for a week.  I guarantee you'll feel a difference.

To a nourishing full moon weekend!

Xo Dana

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Where's Your Sweet Spot?

"As they passionately collect nectar, a honeybee gives back to the world through the art of pollination. They've instinctively found where their passions and natural gifts overlap with the needs of mama earth. They're operating in their sweet spot."

Last week we celebrated the Aries new moon. And we discussed using the energy of DELIGHT to discover your calling and unique expression in this life.  Your assignment was to get in touch with your inner child and tap into your deep passions.  To discover what really lit you up.

In doing this, I reconnected with my long lost passion to write.  I spent some time daily just sitting and letting my thoughts pour out on the page.  I also embraced my inner child by having fun with it and not allowing judgement to creep in.  It felt liberating and delightful!

I also connected with my passion to create sacred, beautiful spaces.  I inherited a gorgeous hand-me down couch and took the opportunity to redecorate and reenergize my living room.  It was so much fun and the energy in the room feels AMAZING now. Isn't it fabulous?!  Never underestimate the power that decor and rearranging can have on a space, your mood, and even your behaviors!  After some serious writers block, I had hours of inspired writing happen at that very table this past week.

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I hope you had fun playing with DELIGHT.  If you missed last weeks post go check it out.

This week's I Ching wisdom adds another element to Delight.   
The hexagram is #59 SPREADING or REUNITING

When delight congeals into selfishness and decadence, spreading must follow.

In the above quote, SPREADING represents the sharing of our gifts with others.  After using the time of Delight to discover your passions and pleasures, it's important to then spread those gifts to others.  It's in that place where our gifts overlap with the needs of others that deep fulfillment arises.  Pure Delight, without the energy of Spreading, can lead to decadence and an overall feeling of emptiness.  

We can overdo our pursuit of pleasure becoming slothful, lustful, and selfish.

No one only concerned with self-interest can maintain success and fulfillment.  We don't live in a vacuum, therefore we will not prosper unless we're engaging and interacting with others.  

So, this hexagram also encourages being in fellowship with others. If you've been isolating yourself, now is the time to reconnect and REUNITE with community.  Share your love; share your heart; share your gifts!

And the perk of spreading the love and being in the act of service with your gifts??  You have the opportunity to allow insecurities and self-limiting behaviors to be spread away too.

When Spreading and Reuniting occur, internal obstacles are overcome. Just as a once brilliant lake can become clogged with silt, we can be clogged with our faults.

But, when you focus on being in service and using your gifts for the good of all, your shortcomings will naturally be SPREAD away.  

Take some time this week to find your sweet spot.  Where do your passions and gifts overlap with the needs of others?  As always, grab your journal and meditate on this.  This will likely take more than a week depending on where your at in your journey.  It's taken me years of intentional searching, and I'm still figuring it all out. But it's totally worth the effort.  Because it's in that sweet spot where the magic happens and where happiness and success are inevitable.


Happy journeying,
Dana

P.S.  Head on down to the comments section and let me know where you think your gifts and passions can be used in the service of others.  Where is your sweet spot? 

If you need help discovering your sweet spot or unique gifts ask me how an I Ching reading can help or click the link below for more info.
http://ichingforchange.com/work-with-me/

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Let Enthusiasm be your Guide

Happy new moon lovely,

Between the new moon Sunday night and something called a Cardinal Grand Cross between the Mars, Jupiter, Uranus, and Pluto coming next month there is some exciting energy going on right now!  Can you feel it??

The New Moon in Aries is about finding and trusting your unique expression and voice. Each of us has a different destiny and calling, and Aries energy pushes us to explore that.  Right now, you really have the ability to embrace your individual spark and have the courage to act on it.  

But how do I know my calling and unique expression you ask? Well, as usual, I checked in with the I Ching. The Hexagram that came up was #16 DELIGHT.

Ethusiasm. The key to discovering your destiny and unique path in this life is through exploring what delights you.  What lights you up?  What can you do for hours and lose track of time?  Get in touch with your passions.  Rediscover your inner child.

“A child simply is. Her imagination is immanent and real, not something into which she escapes. She lives completely in the now. She doesn't worry. Her mind isn't full of ‘what if’ questions. She is fueled by enthusiasm and wonder.  Remember the child within you.  Remember what you love."   
-Andrew Smith @ Cosmic Intelligence Agency    

If your having trouble coming up with what deeply Delights you, I encourage you to grab your journal and meditate on the questions above.  It's amazing how easily we can veer off path and lose track of our passions as we get older and life seems to get more complicated.   

 

There is also a warning within this hexagram.
 

Enthusiasm is not enough.  While our passions serve as sign posts we're heading in the right direction, they must also be grounded with consistency and persistence.

  "Delight is volatile.  Unless our spark begins a reaction, and unless we channel and amplify that reaction through hard work and perseverance, we can not find success."

So use this new moon energy and the time of DELIGHT to play. Rediscover your passions.  Let excitement and enthusiasm guide you.  Let it be the spark that reconnects you with your purpose.  

But remember, the time of DELIGHT is not permanent.  When the excitement and enthusiasm wane, it's important to maintain the momentum with hard work and determination.  Only then will success be your yours.

With Love,

Dana

P.S.  Let me know in the comments section below what forgotten passion you rediscovered. 

Also, if your stuck around anything going on in your life right now, ask me how the I Ching can help.  

If you'd like to get these I Ching Weekly Wisdom messages emailed directly to your inbox, just fill in your info below!

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Spring Clean Your Life

#23

                               Splitting/ Tearing Down 

          "The empowered person evaluates the condition of an old house and    

                 understands the wisdom of moving out before the walls fall in."

How to Best Utilize this Spring Equinox Energy

After a long winter here on the east coast, Spring has fiiiinally arrived!  Today, the equinox, (which I just learned means "equal night") marks the time when day and night are equal in length.  As mother earth reaches a balance between light and dark, this balance is also happening within us.  As the dormant winter energy begins to be replaced by the vibrant, ecstatic spring energy, we'll begin to see forms of new life all over. Flowers will start to bloom, baby animals will be born.  And within ourselves, we'll start to feel that same energy of renewal, birth, and excitement.  

During these times of transition and change I love to go to wisdom of the I Ching (an ancient classical Chinese text and oracle system) to see how best to interact with and utilize this energy.  So the question I posed to the I Ching was, "How best can we approach the energies of this spring equinox"?  

And the answer....drum roll please....Hexagram #5: WAITING

As winter comes to an end, and as we start to anticipate and await the return of light and sunshine of spring, it is really tempting to gather all that stored winter energy and just move full steam ahead. But what the I Ching would have us do instead, is to view this time as the pause between inhalation and exhalation.  A time of calculated waiting.  

"Waiting is one of the hardest skills to learn.  It is usually an asset of old age, not of youth.  It takes that long- and perhaps some weariness- to master the art of waiting. Waiting is patience.  Waiting is timing.  Both meanings are difficult to grasp, but both are important if the young are to grow straight and true".

Waiting is not the same as doing nothing.  Instead, we are advised to fortify ourselves and prepare.  Become better informed.  Practice. Train.  Gain new skills. Reflect on past mistakes and lessons.  Take time for gratitude.  And anything else you feel you need to do as you wait for the right time to act.

"We can get what we want if we wait until the right time. But when the right time comes, we better not fail to act".  

Last, but not least, the I Ching reminds us that waiting does not have to be frustrating.  Play. Have fun.  Enjoy the journey.

 Happy Spring lovelies!  

P.S.  If you want to know more about how the I Ching can help you get clarity and transition through a difficult or confusing life situation check out the "Work with me" page or shoot me an email.

Set yourself free!

It’s with a heavy heart I sit and write this.  My uncle passed last Tuesday night.  He’s finally at peace and free from the pain he suffered, after a car accident left him paralyzed from the neck down 17 years ago.   After several days of fighting for his life in the hospital, he made the decision to end his struggle.  One person who could not be there to say goodbye was his 24 year old son who’s serving a life sentence in prison.  They were able to say their goodbyes over the phone, but I know it was extremely difficult for my cousin not to be there for his dad’s final days. 

This got me thinking about the idea of confinement.  My uncle was confined by his physical condition, and my cousin confined by imprisonment.  Both were forced to accept a compromised situation, and neither could live the life they dreamed of.  Paralysis and prison are both extremely restrictive conditions, and I felt sadness as I thought of their unrealized aspirations and dreams.  Later that day I was on the phone with a friend complaining about her job.  The same job she had been complaining about for the last 5 years!  And then it hit me.  People everywhere are confining themselves to a life of mediocrity and some even to a life of misery, and they don’t even realize they’re doing it! They blame other people or circumstance, when really they have unconsciously set these limitations on themselves.  Everywhere I look, I see people stay in unhappy relationships because they fear being alone, keep a job they hate because they don’t think they’ll find anything better, or give up on their dreams because they seem unattainable.  These are choices people make every day, and it breaks my heart to see so many people vacantly just going through the motions of life.

I spent much of my childhood, painfully shy and missing out on opportunities because of confinements I imposed on myself out of fear.  I set my life up to feel safe.  I stayed in situations that were unfulfilling because they were comfortable and ran away at the first sign of discomfort, fear, or change.   But something inside of me craved more.  So I made the very game-changing decision to do whatever it took to move past my fears and towards my dreams.  I’ve spent the last decade looking for answers.  I studied Chinese medicine, learned about gems and essential oils, did a 10-day silent meditation retreat, practiced various styles of meditation and yoga, and volunteered at the Deepak Chopra Center.  I maxed out credit cards on course after course, read dozens of books, and enlisted mentors.  I made it my mission to get out of my comfort zone, move past my anxieties, and allow growth.  Slowly my confidence grew, and I finally began to feel empowered in my life. 

So today, in honor of my uncle and cousin, I vow to continue working through my fears and doubts.  Instead of hiding out and playing it safe, I am choosing to write my very first blog post and share it online with you all.  This month I will also get over my fear of standing out, and launch my new business that has been several years in the making.  I invite you to do the same.  Examine your life for any places that you are settling for mediocrity or holding yourself back out of fear.  What dreams have you let go of because you thought they weren’t realistic or the thought of failure scared the crap out of you?  For the sake of all those who don’t have the choice to follow their dreams, I challenge you to do whatever needs to be done to free yourself from any situation that isn’t serving you.   Then, I challenge you to remember your dreams and your passions and go after them!  I know this may well be the most difficult thing you do, but remember it is absolutely in your power to do so.  Each and every one of us has a right…a duty to live a vibrant, passionate, and fulfilled life.  I would love anyone who is up for the challenge to join me in following our dreams and creating a life of abundance, fulfillment, and joy.   The first step is just making the decision that you are willing to do whatever it takes to break free and move forward.  Once that decision is made, the universe will help support you by bringing forth people or circumstances to guide you.  You don’t have to take the leap alone.  Let me know where you’re feeling stuck, what you are inspired to do now, or what you aspire to achieve in this lifetime. Shoot me a message or post below!